How to Survive: The Extraordinary Resilience of Ordinary People by Andy Steiner

Author:Andy Steiner [Steiner, Andy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Think Piece Publishing
Published: 2015-01-14T08:00:00+00:00

Change-survival tips from partners who’ve been there:

Reach out to friends and family, says Bonnie. After she and her husband split up, she was left to care for their children alone. “After our divorce,” she says, “the first thing I had to do was rally support for myself. My family and friends stood by me as a single mother. I didn’t have many financial resources at the beginning, so it was important for me to put together a system of people who could support me.”

Understand the importance of healing for soldiers coming home from war, Melissa Seligman advises. “It was my husband who said, ‘Everybody has a right to their own 100 percent.’ For us, we set out to get help one day when we were both sitting together and he said, ‘I can’t keep going on like this.’ He sought counseling, once he realized I didn’t see him as a monster but as a normal human being who was experiencing pain.”

This can be tough, but Carol says she tried not to feel sorry for herself when her life partner became severely disabled. “I decided I wouldn’t feel like I’d been cheated. Bill was my family, and that’s what I wanted to do for him.”

Enough lies, Randy says. Even though it can be hard, tell the truth. In the end, it will make important relationships stronger. “After I finally told my children the truth about being gay, a whole new level of our relationship opened up,” he says. “When they realized I was being honest with them, they started being open and honest with me.”

Speak up. Explain your situation. It helps build connections and increase understanding, Lynette says. “I always tell people about the stroke, especially teachers and new people. I explain that it is such a fundamental part of our family. They’d have to know that to understand what is going on at home. It humanizes us. It’s not the first thing I tell people, but it is a pretty big part of our lives.”

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